


A Shift

by Hellokaelyn



Series: Fictober 2019 [8]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Fictober, post 14x24
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-29 04:42:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20957168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: Nick feels guilt after they go missing but maybe just maybe something good came out if it.





	A Shift

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea for a while and it was originally going to be loaded with angst but..didn't turn out that way.
> 
> Prompt: "Can you stay?"

Guilt was a powerful and messy emotion. If not addressed or taken care of, it could bring someone to their knees, eat away at them until they feel as if there's nothing left but that overwhelming shaming feeling.   
  
Nick felt plenty of it as the weeks went by since Gibbs and McGee disappeared into the trees. He thinks about it practically every minute of every day.  
  
What if he had pushed everyone to the helio before Gibbs told them to go? What if he had been the one to run after Gibbs and not McGee?  
  
He should have. And that is what ate at him most. McGee had a new wife and a baby on the way, what did he have? No wife or girlfriend, friends who were more acquaintances than anything, no kids, and he barely talked to his own family who had moved back to Florida almost a year ago now. His co-workers were the most he had, and two of them may or may not be alive because he didn't act first. Nick had always been the one to act first..but not this time, not when it truly mattered.   
  
That guilt only worsened whenever he saw Delilah, and so he avoided her as much as he could. Anything he wanted to give her to help in any little way, he sent along with Ellie.   
  
At first they had a lot of help to find them, but as the weeks ticked by it seemed the less people cared, and moved on. In the end it was only what was left of the team, Vance, Delilah, and the higher ups who didn't care about Gibbs or McGee.   
  
At the core of it all, it was himself, Ellie, and Reeves. He and Ellie had practically dropped anything that didn't involve trying to find them, Reeves often being with them but also keeping up with his life outside work. Nick knew he cared, but there was a part of him that didn't get how he could just shut it off for a few hours (he knew that was some of the guilt talking deep down).   
  
More often than not, it was just he and Ellie usually at her apartment going over everything they had for the millionth time. He could feel the shift between them, what exactly he had no clue, but it was there and growing.   
  
Neither of them wanted to admit the truth. They were using each other for support, leaning on each other in multiple ways because no one not even Reeves knew what they were going through. Without one of them during this time, the other was sure to crack and break under the guilt and pressure to find them.   
  
(There was also the thought of _what if_ Ellie had been the one to go to Paraguay like originally planned instead of him? But he always shoved it back _hard_ because the thought was all sorts of terrifying in ways he didn't even know himself yet)  
  
Things were bound to shift between them again the longer it went on.   
  
There was nothing out of the ordinary. They sat in her living room on the floor having shoved her couch and coffee table aside for more room, Ellie with her legs under her in what looked like an uncomfortable position, an empty bag of cheese puffs beside her, hair in a tangled mess from the constant putting it up then taking it down during her frustration, and him across from her.   
  
For some reason his eyes kept shifting to her, he figured it was because the guilt that day was bad and so every time he looked at the information in front of him, he'd feel that twisting in his stomach. It was safer to look at her.   
  
That morning Ellie had come into work late, apologizing as she explained Delilah had a bad night and morning. Ellie and Abby had taken to taking turns staying with her most nights. Nick felt his stomach plummet as Ellie rambled about her being sick and then crying when she thought Ellie had already fallen asleep.   
  
His guilt came back full force when he decided to call Delilah and check up on her. Her tired voice cracking every other word as it was obviously one of her tough days, she was a strong woman but even she had her days. But it was the sob she tried hiding as they ended the call that had him hiding out in the evidence garage for an hour, taking deep breaths and to try and clear his thoughts enough.   
  
"Nick?"   
  
Nick's head snapped up at her voice from where he zoned out staring at her carpet. He cleared his throat. "Yeah?"  
  
"You doing okay?" She asked softly. "You've been zoning out a lot today."  
  
"Sorry." He mumbled with a slight cringe. Now was not the time for his spacing out, especially if it was noticeable.  
  
Her face softened, and Nick stared confused as she started gathering their stuff up. "We should call it quits for the night."  
  
He nodded biting back the refusal that wanted to slip out. "Sure..I uh- should get going then."  
  
Nick stood, moving to grab his things when Ellie was suddenly standing next to him, her hand on his arm. "Can you stay?"  
  
"Uh- what?" He blinked at her in shock. She had never asked him to stay before, hell he had made sure to never even accidentally fall asleep at her place no matter how tired he was.   
  
"I just..don't wanna be alone tonight." She smiled a little. "If you don't want to or can't it's okay-"  
  
"I'll stay."   
  
_Why did he have a feeling she didn't ask him to stay for herself?_   
  
Her smile grew, and Nick had to look away and pretend to busy himself with his bag as he felt something he hadn't felt in years ping through him.   
  
"Just uh..one problem, the couch isn't the most comfortable ever and I need a new air mattress after my brothers popped the last one."  
  
Ellie bit her lip and Nick swallowed hard.   
  
"I can sleep on the floor." He said with a shrug. "I've slept in worse places."  
  
"No! I asked you to stay, you can just- stay in my bed with me." Nick stared at her blinking. Ellie's cheeks colored. "I mean friends share beds all the time, right?!"   
  
"R-Right.."   
  
Only an hour later when they finally laid on Ellie's bed, Nick's heart rate picked up and Ellie's face seemed permanently pink with flushed cheeks. Eventually they drifted off on opposite sides of the bed.   
  
In the morning when they woke up facing each other, only inches between their faces and their legs tangled together, they awkwardly pulled apart and got ready for the day. A weird energy between them that even Reeves noticed with a raised eyebrow, it lasted until they once again got lost in the case.   
  
They never spoke of it again, but it had finalized the shift between them as their friendly banter turned into flirty banter, looks became a little more lingering, and sparks of jealousy became a normal thing.   
  
It would go on and grow for the next 2 years.


End file.
